


Life Goes On

by bwivtae



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst and Tragedy, Character Death, Depression, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mental Instability, Mentions of other characters - Freeform, Not Beta Read
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-24
Updated: 2021-01-24
Packaged: 2021-03-16 10:29:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,306
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28955013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bwivtae/pseuds/bwivtae
Summary: He wants the time to stop working, if that is the only way for him to be with the love of his life.
Relationships: Miya Atsumu/Sakusa Kiyoomi
Kudos: 10





	Life Goes On

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired from BTS' song, Life Goes On. Stream it guyssss!

_"Omi-kun~ Let's eat king crab tomorrow. Your treat"_

_"Why do I have to treat you, silly tsumu"_

_"Mean, Omi-kun. Yer hafta treat me because you love me so much. Also, we're on our honeymoon so we gotta eat king crab. Please~"_

_Sakusa looks at Atsumu who were giving him puppy eyes. And he knew that Atsumu knew that it was his weakness. With a smile, he cups Atsumu's cheeks and kissed his pouty lips._

_"Fine. You win this time but once we get to the hotel, I want you to do what I want" he said with a smirk. Atsumu blushed._

_They were on their way to their hotel from the airport for their honeymoon at Hokkaido. After a month of their wedding, this is their only chance to go to their honeymoon as they were both busy with volleyball match. Atsumu have been looking forward for this ever since he starts pestering Sakusa to go on a honeymoon. With the love of his life by his side, he couldn't ask for more in his life. Staring at Sakusa, he still couldn't believe that he married a fine man such as Sakusa Kiyoomi-- or Miya Kiyoomi. He took Sakusa's hand that are not occupied with driving and intertwine their fingers. It fits perfectly, like it was meant to be. The rings on their fingers shines beautifully like the stars in the sky. He couldn't stop smiling._

_But his happiness stops right there._

_"Fuck!" Sakusa yells. He swerves the car to the left to avoid the bus in front of them. But luck is not on their side. Their car crashed onto a tree and rolls three times before stopping. All Atsumu could remember is that he were holding tightly onto Sakusa's hand and the sounds of people shouting for help._

_"Ki...yo...mi..." he mutters. He takes a look at the man beside him, but his eyes were closed._

_And then, his vision turns dark._

* * *

Atsumu woke up in a cold sweat. Tears streaming down his cheeks and his chest feels tight, as if he couldn't get any oxygen. He looks to his side and starts to panic when it was empty. He tried to get up but his legs felt weak and fell to the ground, earning a loud thud. He cried and cried and cried, unable to stop himself. 

Then, the door to his room opened. 

"Atsumu! Oh my gosh, are you okay?" 

Atsumu looks up instantly when hearing that familiar voice. The voice he love so much. The voice of the love of his life.

"Omi-kun" he said, finally calming down once the man, Sakusa, hugs him tight. "Omi-omi...don't leave me alone. I'm scared. I'm scared, Omi-kun" 

Sakusa hushes him and rocks him back and forth while still hugging him. He pats his back to comfort his husband, kissing his forehead. 

"I'm right here, tsumu. Not going anywhere. Did you have that nightmare again? It's been two years, dear" Sakusa assures him. Atsumu nods his head and hugs Sakusa tighter, like he's afraid that Sakusa will be gone if he let go. 

"During that year, you almost died. I don't want you to die" 

Sakusa remain silent. 

"Omi? Why are you quiet?" 

Sakusa smiled at him. "Nothing. Just thought that I almost lost you too that time. Also, I'm not dying, silly. Look. I'm hugging you right now. Let's go, you have to go bath, eat and then take your medicines" he said, pulling Atsumu to the bathroom. "I'll wait downstairs, okay dear?" 

Atsumu smiles and nods. That's right. It was all a nightmare and Sakusa is right here with him. He then went to the bathroom and took his bath. Relief washed over him when he saw that Sakusa's skincare products and toothbrush is still there in the bathroom. After a fresh bath, he went downstairs to where his husband is and heard two other familiar voices in the kitchen.

"Suna, Samu. Why're you guys here early in the mornin'?" Atsumu said once he's in the kitchen. His twin, Miya Osamu- now Suna Osamu, is making some onigiris for breakfast while Suna is preparing coffee. Sakusa nowhere to be seen. "Where's Omi-kun?" 

Suna turns towards Atsumu with a smile. "He's at the garden. Said he wanna have breakfast outside" he looks at Osamu, who have a troubled face. 

"I see. That's nice. Let's have breakfast outside too" Atsumu grins happily. Suna nods his head and gestures towards Osamu to do bring the onigiris outside. 

"Yeah, sure. By the way, 'tsumu, we're both gonna come here every mornin' for breakfast. That okay with ya?" Osamu asks. Atsumu tilts his head in confusion but then decides to let it go. 

"Sure, why not. The more the merrier, and our houses are not far from each other"

Osamu smiled and hugs his twin. "Then, let's go eat outside. 'm hungry already" 

The three of them went outside to the garden and sets up the table. Osamu's onigiri in the middle, Suna's coffee, and some biscuits. A simple breakfast, but with the love of his life and his twin together here, it felt complete. Oh, not to forget, his best friend Suna Rintarou. The three of them exchange stories and laughs at any idiot jokes that Atsumu tells, and sometimes he and Osamu would annoy each other with Suna recording them, like always. Everything is normal when Atsumu brought up abput how quiet Sakusa is.

"Why aren'tcha talking, Omi-omi?" Atsumu asks, touching Sakusa's arm to gain his attention. Sakusa looks up, eyes focused on Atsumu. He took Atsumu's hand and kissed them tenderly and smiled. Atsumu blushed, cheeks red and rosy. 

"Just enjoying the view, and you. I love hearing you laugh" 

"Yer gross, Omi-kun" 

"You love me"

"Heh. That I do" Atsumu grins cheekily. Osamu clears his throat which gains Atsumu's attention. He smirks towards his twin. "What? You're jealous?"

"Ain't got no time for that. I'm going home, got some works to do. Let's go, Sunarin" 

Suna gets up, gathering the dishes and brought them to the kitchen. Atsumu came and told him to let the dishes in the sink as he will wash them later. Atsumu walks them to the front door and waves. 

"Take care of yerself, 'tsumu. Don't get stressed" 

"I never get stressed, stupid 'Samu" Atsumu grins. Osamu returns the smile and pats his shoulder. 

Both of them drove off, leaving Atsumu and Sakusa alone. Sakusa came behind Atsumu and hugs his waist, chin on top of Atsumu's shoulder. Atsumu tilts his head and kissed Sakusa's cheeks. 

It was such a great morning. 

* * *

Osamu stares blankly at the tv in front of him, although it was his favourite show playing. Suna sat beside him, offering his shoulder to lean on in which Osamu gladly complies. They didn't say anything, as if knowing what they had in their minds. 

"He's gonna be alright. He's strong" Suna said, caressing Osamu's arms gently. Osamu sighs and nods. 

"It's near. Their anniversary, that is. And everytime it's near, 'tsumu will get depressed like that time when he kept blaming himself for what happened back then. Fuck, he almost commits suicide! I don't want that to happen again, Rin. I don't wanta lose my twin" tiny sobs escaped Osamu's mouth, and that hurts Suna. Suna hugs Osamu tighter in his embrace, kissing the top of his head to reassure him that everything is going to be alright. Hopefully. 

"We need to get him to therapy. He can't live like that forever. He can't let himself stuck in an unmoving world. He needs to move on" Osamu chokes back a sob. Suna understand that, and he nods. 

"We'll help him. Don'tcha worry, okay? C'mon, let's go to sleep" 

* * *

Atsumu hums happily as he picks some clothes to try on. One by one the clothes in his wardrobe were brought out. He tried them in front of the full body mirror, not noticing Sakusa watching him with a smile by the door. 

"You look so happy, baby" Sakusa interrupts, making Atsumu jump. Atsumu glare playfully towards his husband and laughs because indeed, he is very happy right now. 

"I can't wait to meet the others. I miss them, Omi-kun. It's been a while ever since........" he trails off. _Ever since what, actually? Why haven't he been meeting his teammates all this time?_

"Tsum-tsum? You okay?"

Sakusa's voice brings Atsumu back to reality. He shakes his head and smiles. 

"I'm okay. I just realized that we've been on a long hiatus from volleyball ever since our honeymoon" 

"Honeymoon, huh" Sakusa mutters. Atsumu tilts his head, smiling.

"Omi-omi~ Why aren'tcha wearing the new suit I bought for ya? Today's Bokkun's engagement party, yer should wear something nice. Yer always wear that black turtleneck"

Suddenly, Sakusa pulls Atsumu, making the other surprised by the sudden move. They were face to face, Sakusa's eyes brimming with tears. 

"Honey, Atsumu. I need you to wake up from this hallucination. Our anniversary is near, and you're gonna start hurting yourself again. I don't want that to happen, love. Please, let go of me. You have to move on. Don't get stuck on this little world you create, my dear" 

Atsumu's eyes doubled in size. What he heard shocked him. Let go of Sakusa? Why? Did he cheat on him? Did Sakusa found another guy? Rage engulfs him as he pushed Sakusa's hand away. 

"Why should I let go of you? Did ya cheat on me, Omi-kun? What hallucination are ya talking about?!" he shouts, eyes red and stings with tears threatening to fall. 

"No, love. I didn't cheat on you. But-"

"Quiet. I don't wanta hear anythin'. I'm going to the party first, if yer wanna go, take the taxi" with that, Atsumu went out of the house and drove away to Bokuto's house, leaving Sakusa. 

* * *

"Hey, hey, hey! Tsum-tsum! Long time no see, buddy!" Bokuto engulfs him in a big hug as soon as Atsumu steps inside the house. Atsumu smiled, but his smile didn't reach his eyes like usual. 

"Hey, Bokkun. Great to see ya again. Congratulations on the engagement with 'Kaashi-kun" 

"Thanks, buddy. Let's go inside. The others are already here" 

At the big, hall-like living room, the others are already drinking and eating. Laughters everywhere surrounding the room, but his heart is at home, where Sakusa is. He wonders, will Sakusa come to the party now after their fight? He tried calling, but there was no answer. 

"Miya-san!" a familiar cheerful voice calls out to him.

"Shoyo-kun!" Atsumu grins, arms wide open to accept Hinata's hug. 

They both caught up to each other, and Hinata shyly admits that he is now with Kageyama, his long time high school crush. Atsumu was glad about the news and congratulates him. He didn't realize that all his friends are looking at him with concern.

"He's a tough one, that guy" Kuroo said, sipping his cocktail. Kenma agrees. They all went back to their own conversations, catching up with their high school friends and remininscing memories. Atsumu engages to their conversations, but sometimes he got distracted, looking towards the door. Hoping that one person to come up. Akaashi realizes this and decides to ask.

"Miya-san, you're waiting for someone?" 

Atsumu smiles awkwardly, "Yeah. I'm waiting for Omi-omi. We fought just now, so I don't think he's gonna come" 

And then they all went silent. All eyes turns towards Atsumu in disbelief. Suna and Osamu, knowing that this will happen, immediately pulls Atsumu to his feet. Osamu, his eyes brimming with tears, hits Atsumu's chest. 

"You hafta stop this, 'tsumu. You hafta let him go! It's been 2 years, dammit! You must go on, live your life. Don't get stuck on that little bubble of yours, stupid Atsumu!" 

"What the fuck are ya talkin' about Samu?! Why do you and Omi wants me to let him go?!" 

"He's dead, Atsumu. He died during your honeymoon two fucking years ago! A car and bus accident, please don't torture yerself like this. Let Omi go in peace, please" Osamu pleads, dragging Atsumu down on his knees with him. Atsumu remain silent. What Osamu said, it doesn't makes sense. Sakusa is at home. They were fighting. That's why Sakusa is not coming. Yes, Osamu must be pranking him. 

"Stop it, Samu. It's not a funny joke, ya know? Ya can't joke about a person dying" he chuckles darkly. Suna shakes his head. 

"It's true, tsumu. Sakusa died on the spot during that accident" Kita interrupts. Atsumu pales, his head starts to hurt. It was like all the memories of 'that day' came back to him. 

_"C'mon Omi-kun~ When are we going to have our honeymoon? It's been a month after our wedding. I wanna spend time with you at Hokkaido"_

_"Actually....I've booked us a flight. We're going tonight right after practice"_

_"Really?! Tonight?! But aren'tcha gonna be tired?"_

_"You wanted to go so bad, and this is the only earliest flight. Also, I can't wait to spend time with you too, my love"_

_"You look tired. Wanna exchange? I can drive too, you know"_

_"That's okay. I can handle this. Only a few hours left till we reach our hotel"_

_"Omi...that bus is swerving. Oh my god, Omi-kun!"_

_"Fuck!"_

_"Your son's condition is 50-50 chance of living. Let's hope he's strong enough to fight for his life"_

_"How do we tell him, Sunarin....Sakusa...Sakusa is dead"_

_"Shh, I'm sure he's strong to accept the news"_

_"I'm gonna fucking sue- no, put the bus driver in jail forever. He was drunk driving for fucks sake! My brother-in-law...he took his life. I won't fucking forgive him. He made Atsumu's life a living hell. He regains his consciousness and can be discharged...but look at him, he became mentally unstable"_

"....'tsumu, Atsumu!"

Atsumu wakes up in a cold sweat. He remembers all of it now. Sakusa, his beloved husband, died. He died while avoiding a bus. 

"No...No..No! Kiyoomi, kiyoomi, my love! Why'd you leave me?!" 

Osamu and Suna holds him down from his tantrums. They brought Atsumu back to their house when Atsumu faints at Bokuto's. Suna takes Atsumu's calming pills and forced Atsumu to swallow t down. Now that Atsumu have calmed down, Osamu hugs him tight. Both were sobbing quietly while Suna gently rubs their backs. He wanted to cry, but he can't. He have to stay strong for the sake of both twins, especially Atsumu. He wants to be Atsumu's pillar to lean on whenever he needs to. After all, they are best friends. 

"I'm sorry Samu, Suna. Must be hard having to deal with me. It was all hallucinations. Actually, deep in my heart I know that Kiyoomi is gone. But I don't want to admit it and that's why, as my way to cope, I create a hallucination of him. I just...I just miss him so much" 

Osamu nods, "Yeah, I know that. Ya don't hafta apologize, s'not yer fault"

Atsumu lets go of his twin and stares at his ring finger. He's still wearing his wedding band. Thinking back, he never saw 'Sakusa' wearing his. He chuckles at how idiot he is. He's been living with a hallucination. 

"I should let him go. Properly this time. And then...Samu, can you find me a therapist?" 

Hearing this, Osamu nods enthusiastically. He always wanted to bring hi stwin to see a therapist, but he doesn't know how, afraid that it might hurt Atsumu's feelings. But now that Atsumu wants to go himself, he will help his twin no matter what. He will help his twin to heal, one step at at time. 

Both of them laughs lightly, followed by Suna who finally cried a little. The three of them hugs and ends up sleeping together, with Osamu in the middle, just like their high school days. 

* * *

_Seven months later_

Atsumu woke up early on a Saturday, feeling refreshed. He took a bath, ate his breakfast and went out for a morning jog. It has been a while he felt like this. No longer trapped in his own bubble. It was hard at first, to let go of Sakusa. But he did it. Sakusa still remains in his heart, but he have learned to accept the fact that his husband is no longer in this world. He no longer live in the house he shared with Sakusa because there were so many memories of them. Memories right before they got married and decided to keep the house even after marriage.

But now, he wanted to start a new leaf. He bought a house at an apartment close to his workplace. 

The only thing that he kept with him that belongs to Sakusa is his MSBY jersey and his wedding ring. He wears Sakusa's wedding ring along with his own as a necklace, so that it was closer to his heart. 

He got home at 10 a.m, took another shower and facetime with his twin, who have adopted a pomeranian puppy named Plum. He was cute, playful, and Atsumu promised to come visit and bring lots of treats for the little puppy. 

Around 12 noon, Atsumu gets ready with black suits and tie. He then went to a flower shop to buy a bouquet of flowers. To be more precise, a bouquet of daffodil. The meaning of the flower is 'to a new beginning', 'to move on', and Atsumu is ready for that. This is a huge step for him, to finally let go of the love of his life and move on to his life. Although he moved on, never will he forget the love he have for the man named Sakusa Kiyoomi. He may be not his first love, but Sakusa Kiyoomi, to him, is someone very special that he holds dearly. 

Atsumu drove his car to the crematorium where his ex-husband is being cremated. He took a deep breath, and with shaky hands he opened the door to the crematorium. This is probably his second time being here before he gets depression and completely forgot that his husband died in a car accident. Now that he's back here, everything seems so real. He fought back the tears threatening to fall and steps forward to where Sakusa is. 

Now there, right in front of him, is a jar with Sakusa's ashes inside. He put his palms and forehead on the glass, closing his eyes, wanting to feel Sakusa for the last time. 

"I'm here, Omi-kun. I'm sorry for not visiting ya. I've recovered, thanks to Samu and his husband, also all our friends. Omi, yer a great friend, partner, teammate, boyfriend, and husband for me. I've been with many guys before ya, but yer the one that I truly love. It's a shame we didn't get to spend time as husbands for long. But even though it was just a month, it felt like thousand of years you've been my husband, Omi-omi. Gosh, I'm here to let ya go but look at me, unable to leave ya. I really miss ya, Miya Kiyoomi. But I've decided to let ya go. Don't worry, yer still in my heart. If I die, I want us to be reborn at the same time and I wanna fall in love with ya again. This flower, is for a new beginning. I'm letting ya go, my love" 

Atsumu puts the bouquet of flower and wipes his tears. Before he steps back, he noticed a picture of both of them, wearing their MSBY jersey. They were both smiling happily with Sakusa kissing his lips. He took the picture and smiles. At the back of the picture, was a handwriting by Sakusa;

**_No matter what happens to us, life must go on_ **

**_To more memories together, love_ **

**_Miya Kiyoomi <3 Miya Atsumu_ **

**_-fin-_ **

**Author's Note:**

> it's finisheddd! sorry if it looks a bit rushed but I TRIED OKAY hahaha!  
> got this idea last night when i felt angsty and in need to hurt myself with sakuatsu angst ehek  
> hope you guys enjoyyyy!  
> oh and this is my first haikyuu fanfiction btw


End file.
